Christmas talk

 I am giving a talk in sacrament meeting today. Normally I don't "write" a talk but share remarks as prompted by the Spirit. Today, for whatever reason, I wrote the talk and printed it. I felt that I would include it here as a way to record my testimony.

When brother Stockham called and asked if I would speak today, I asked him if there was a topic that he wanted me to speak on. He indicated that there wasn’t a specific topic but reminded me that today is the last Sunday before Christmas. As I have pondered what I might say I was led by the Spirit to read through the talks given at the recent Christmas devotional. Sister Craven shared personal experiences from her childhood and about heavenly hugs extended to her family in answer to a fervent prayer. Elder Nielson shared the experiences of his father who had been deprived of Christmas for 3 years as he served in the military during World War II. Elder Holland recounts the nativity scene and reminds us of how often revelation comes in the form of a dream of the night. President Nelson shared a video of an adorable little girl, Claire Crosby, singing Silent Night while he played the piano and reminded us of the divine gifts that are given so freely by our Father in Heaven. As I thought about these talks and what I might say today my mind went back to some of my Christmas memories, the Spirit whispered to me, interestingly enough, during several nights this past week to share those experiences and make my remarks personal.

One memorable Christmas experience was when a friend of mine, Rick Gerisolli who was serving in the bishopric at the time used “The Living Christ” as a talk for Christmas. He had been participating with the young men in the ward by memorizing The Living Christ and as he recited it he replace “I” inserting himself into it like we are encouraged to do with the scriptures. I have not memorized The Living Christ but would like to read some of it personalizing it.

“As we commemorate the birth of Jesus Christ two millennia ago, [I] offer [my] testimony of the reality of His matchless life and the infinite virtue of His great atoning sacrifice. None other has had so profound an influence upon all who have lived and will yet live upon the earth.

He was the Great Jehovah of the Old Testament, the Messiah of the New. Under the direction of His Father, He was the creator of the earth. “All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made” (John 1:3). Though sinless, He was baptized to fulfill all righteousness. He “went about doing good” (Acts 10:38), yet was despised for it. His gospel was a message of peace and goodwill. He entreated all to follow His example. He walked the roads of Palestine, healing the sick, causing the blind to see, and raising the dead. He taught the truths of eternity, the reality of our premortal existence, the purpose of our life on earth, and the potential for the sons and daughters of God in the life to come.

He instituted the sacrament as a reminder of His great atoning sacrifice. He was arrested and condemned on spurious charges, convicted to satisfy a mob, and sentenced to die on Calvary’s cross. He gave His life to atone for the sins of all mankind. His was a great vicarious gift in behalf of all who would ever live upon the earth.

[I] solemnly testify that His life, which is central to all human history, neither began in Bethlehem nor concluded on Calvary. He was the Firstborn of the Father, the Only Begotten Son in the flesh, the Redeemer of the world.”….  

My earliest childhood memory of Christmas is from when I was about 5 years old. Each year in Santa Clara Utah there is a Christmas Eve program. The program started out as a primary activity when Santa Clara only had one ward, as the town grew and the wards multiplied the program became a community event that still takes place today. The script of the little play is different every year, different families take turns being in charge and each year the family in charge writes the play. Although the script is different each year the elements are same, each age group of kids learn a song to sing from nursery age all the way up to 12 years old. There are songs about missing front teeth, Santa Claus coming to town and getting nothing for Christmas. 2 elements are always included, most importantly the nativity scene is always portrayed, and after the closing prayer there is always a “special” visitor. Once the closing prayer has been offered everyone in attendance sings Jingle Bells as loud as they can to summon the special visitor. Sometimes he comes the first time, sometimes we would have to try and sing again. When Santa Claus arrives, he is brought to front and center on the stage where he has a gift for all of the kids in attendance. As a 5-year-old this is the climax of the evening and what I was waiting for. This particular night I received a rather large package, and as I carried it off of the stage, because of its size and shape I knew with certainty what was in the package. When I set it on the floor and began to unwrap it, I started to exclaim that this is exactly what…. As I uttered the word what I got my first glimpse of what was inside the package, my brain quickly sent a message to my mouth and changed what I was saying mid-sentence because of the new information that it now had and I finished my sentence …. I didn’t want…. Everyone got a good laugh about the statement; the story has been told many times over the years. As I have pondered this Christmas event, I realize that of all of the years that I attended the Christmas Eve program as a child and later with my brother’s kids and my own kids that this particular gift is the only one that I remember. My exclamation that it was exactly what I didn’t want is not what I find significant about the gift. What I find significant is that of all of the Christmas gifts I received as a child I remember this one. I remember what it was, and I remember playing with it. It was a gift given by those who knew me, knew my interests and knew that it was something that I would enjoy.

Another Christmas gift that I remember very clearly came a few years later. I was maybe 10 at the time and enjoyed taking things apart and putting them back together. I had asked for my own tool set and that Christmas morning I awoke to find exactly what I wanted under the tree. These were not toy tools, this was a real mechanic’s tool set. Most of the tools from that set I still have to this day. I put them to use, I took apart and fixed my bike. I learned how to fix the lawn mower, I later learned to work on cars. As I learned I have added to the tools set expanding it. The brethren in the ward who helped us move into our home a year ago can testify to how the tool set has grown. As it grew so did my ability. I worked in automotive shops through high school and took a job as a mechanic at a gold mine after my mission. As I was thinking about these two gifts form my childhood, I found an analogy in them that ties them back to the gospel. The gifts can be likened to answers to prayers. Answers that are gifts from a loving Heavenly Father. Sometimes when we pray, and we are earnestly seeking an answer, the answer that we get is “exactly what I didn’t want”. Our Heavenly Father who knows us better than we know ourselves will sometimes answer our prayers in a way that is unexpected or in a way that is not what we were seeking. If we will accept the answer, the gift He offers, will bless our lives. Much like the gift that I got when I was 5. I exclaimed while opening the gift that it was “exactly what I didn’t want”, however, my words in the moment were not communicating what my actual thought was. The actual thought was, “this is not what I thought it was going to be” As I accepted the gift, played with it, enjoyed it, it became one of the few that I remember through the years, the gift that was “exactly what I didn’t want” was a gift given by those who knew me better than I knew myself. I can still recall this gift when there are so many others that I have no lasting memory of.

The tool set was a different experience. It was exactly what I wanted and had been asking for. Like the prayer that is offered with real intent and purpose, where we have studied and pondered what we really want and how it will apply in our lives. I was blessed with an answer that I put to use. As I used the tools, I learned new things, I added to the tool set and as I did so I gained new abilities and skills. The purpose of the tools and the enjoyment and blessing I get from them is different than the blessing of the toy. The tool kit too was given with love by those who know me well.

At this Christmas time may we remember the gifts that have been given by our loving Heavenly Father, the gift of His Son and by our Savior the gift of the atonement. May we remember the gifts we receive on a daily basis, the ones that come to us in night dreams, through study of the scriptures, or listening to a talk. May we remember the gift given at baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost. May we remember that we are entitled to have His Spirit to be with us always. My we remember the gift of a living prophet to guide us and who blesses us, literally. I will end by quoting President Nelson’s blessing that he closed his Christmas Devotional remarks with. Quote “May you and your families be blessed with peace, with an increased ability to hear the voice of the Lord, and receive revelation with an enhanced capacity to feel how much our Father and His Son love you, care for you, and are ready to guide all who seek after Them. I join my words with those of Moroni and “commend you to seek this Jesus of whom the prophets and apostles have written, that the grace of God the Father, and also the Lord Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost, … may be and abide in you forever.” Close quote. I pray with President Nelson that this blessing might be received and accepted in our lives, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

2020

2020 has been a real bummer of a year. We just went through an awful election cycle and unless some kind of miracle happens Biden is our new president. I think the only reason for that is due to so many people voting Biden even though they don't like him but because they hate Trump more. There are a lot of conservatives who didn't vote, voted Biden or some other alternative simply because they hate Trump and didn't want to vote for him. That is not the best way to decide who to vote for in my opinion.

I am also tiered of the COVID19 stuff. I am now working for a place that has a mask mandate. I won't even get started on what I think of that. What a joke. This year has just been one joke after another. I am ready for it to be over.   

Cow Chips: Mangers

 It has been over 11 years since I wrote anything related to my stories about cows, I believe I started this project in 2008, and first published the stories on my blog in 2009. This morning, and I mean morning, it is 3:40am, I was in bed awake, unable to go back to sleep and thinking about Cow Chips, thinking about my stories about cows and mangers.... I have a Cow Chips heading called "licking the manger clean", however, this post is more about the structure of the manger itself than about the cows. To explain I will have to give some background about our feed lot. 

Our feed lot was set up with 3 sets of mangers to feed the cows. In the front were the silage mangers, they ran the length of the feed lot and were made out of concrete. They were solid, unmovable and by far the area of our coral system that required the least amount of maintenance.  The back mangers were our hay mangers which included the smaller pen / mangers where we could feed the calves away  from the cows so that they could get a fair share and not be trampled. These mangers were made from wood.... I feel some explanation about the wood and or materials these mangers are made from is necessary. Our corals were built from materials that can be described as #1 cheap, and #2 what was available. The lumber used to build them was obtained from the local lumber yard and consisted of boards of various different sizes that were warped, split or otherwise unusable for the construction of homes or buildings. The lumber yard would take these construction rejects, stuff that a contractor would not accept or use and throw them into a pile of boards. When the lumber yard had a good sized pile they would call and we would go and pick them up, purchasing the pile at a fraction of the cost of buying quality lumber. We would then use this mismatched pile of boards to build and repair corrals and mangers. Repair of mangers and corrals also included salvaging anything that we could find that would make it so that we didn't have to go and get as many new boards out of our pile. This included saving nails, dad had a bucket full of old nails that had been pulled out and saved. On many occasions we would spend more time taking broken boards apart, pulling nails and piecing them back together again using old nails that we had to straighten so that we could hammer them back in than we would spend actually making a repair. "Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without" was the moto around our farm and ranch. 

The coral configuration had the concrete manger in the front that ran the length of all the corals, with a single fence in between each corral in the front closest to the concrete mangers. The corrals were in pairs and there was a water trough set in between each pair of corrals in the middle of this fence so that there was one water trough for 2 corrals. On the back side the corrals separated to accommodate a single hay stack in between the 2 corrals forming an L shape on one side and a backwards L shape on the other. Each corral had a hay manger along the area where the hay stack was.  These hay mangers were not concrete, they were made entirely from the assorted lumber I described above. 

I describe all of this because it is the mangers that I am writing about. When they were first built they were straight, as in the fences stood straight vertically as well as being in a straight line. I was not around when they were new and so all I can remember is the hay mangers being in some form of disrepair, leaning heavily toward the hay stacks and in a slight zig zag line along their length. This is what was on my mind early this morning, the process of how these mangers got to be in this state. Here is where the cows come into the story. In an earlier section I tell about how the cows will lick the manger clean, they will stretch and strain to reach every last little flake of hay that they can get to. Thinking about the corrals my brother built when he moved the feed lot to Ivins, what he did different and ways the difference can be used as a life analogy is what had my mind going this morning so that I couldn't sleep. The mangers I grew up with that my dad and uncles built were short on the outside of the corral. They had a short board, just high enough to keep the cows from pushing the hay off of the back side. My brother on the other hand, built mangers with a taller piece of corrugated metal on the out side, tall enough that when the cows put their head into the manger they can't see over it. The effect is revealed in the condition of the corrals. The old feed lot mangers have fences that are leaning heavily toward the hay stack, posts that are pushing out of the ground, boards that are bowed and warped and broken from constant strain. My brother's corral fences remain straight. Because the cows can see what is beyond the manger at the old feed lot they will persistently stain against the manger fence, 15 to 20 cows 1800 to 2500 pounds each applying steady pressure against a barrier to reach what they can see just beyond will cause even the strongest fence to lean, warp, and break over time. Where as my brother's manger, where the cows can easily reach everything they can see will not apply that steady pressure against the manger fence. Another interesting observation is related to the concrete mangers. Even though they were low on the outside and the cows could see over them, they were built of a stronger material that was unmovable, therefore, we did not have the same leaning bowing effect on the manger fence with these mangers because of their construction. 

There are many analogies that can be derived from this observation about our farm and the cows. If you constantly and consistently push the boundaries, the commandments, you will eventually break them. The concrete mangers were like building on a sure foundation or "rock" and were therefore better able to withstand the constant pressure applied by the cows in a way that the wooden mangers were not able to bear. Interestingly enough, the posts of the wooden mangers were set in sand and therefore had a "sandy" foundation making them more susceptible to the forces that constantly beat against them. The concrete mangers are an example of how taking the extra time and effort necessary to build something will make it last longer. The cows constantly pushing against the manger to reach those fleeting little bits of hay can be related to us when we push boundaries for things of this world that are not eternal and that are here today and gone tomorrow.

As is always the case I am not certain that all of what I was thinking this morning has been portrayed accurately in what I have written here. It is early, and I am feeling the tiredness of being up far too early. I will leave it to the reader to draw conclusions from my thoughts about mangers and cows. I hope that these personal conclusions will provide insights that will help those who read in some small way. I am trying to incorporate President Eyring's insight that he shared in 2007 where he shares about a time he had an impression that the Lord was speaking to his mind saying "I'm not giving you these experiences for yourself. Write them down."     

Time for an update

I was just looking at the blog itself.... I think that it is time for some updates. The pictures are really old..... There are so many thing that has happened since I wrote last, 4 missionaries, high school graduations, college students, Joe my youngest is a senior. We have moved multiple times as well. This could possibly be a way for the family to keep up with what is going on in our lives.... sort of like the weekly email. 

Today I have a little bit of a cough and have not been feeling great the last couple of days so I decided to stay home from church. I don't think that I am sick with COVID but, I know that people get nervous when you cough, and so I am at home while my family is at church. Hopefully I will be feeling better tomorrow after a day of rest. That is the idea I guess. 

Thinking about my journals

 The last couple of weeks I have been thinking about my journals that I have kept over the years. This blog is one of them. As I was thinking about things I have written in the past I thought about the stories that I had written about the cows and the fact that I lost the thumb drive that they were stored on. I remembered posting them on this blog and checked to see if I still have access to it, which to my delight I still do. I am glad that the stories I wrote are still here, that they were not lost with the thumb drive, another reason to keep a journal, and to keep it in more than one format. Barb and I talked about what we would do if our home burned down, related to things we would like to change about our current home. As I thought about this loosing the home doesn’t necessarily concern me, yes it would be a difficult trial, however, as I think about that possibility the items that would be devastating to lose are things like our journals. Of all of the possessions I can think of that I would really hate to lose, journals, family videos, pictures, this type of things are the ones that would make me the most sad to lose. When my mom’s basement flooded, those are the things that we lost that were the hardest.... for example, all of the letters that I wrote on my mission are all gone, along with the letters that I received from my family. Today, with e-mail, many if not all of those letters would have been preserved, at least all of the electronic letters. This blog would survive such an event. Yes things can happen to electronic writings. Which is why I am now convinced that keeping more than one format is a good way to preserve our journals. I look forward to reading through some of what I have written in the past. There is much that can be learned from looking back at the person we were.

A few days later

So here it is a few days later, I have already fallen into the "not writing on my blog" trap again after one post where I said "It has been a while" Sigh.... Sometimes I don't write because I don't feel like I have anything to say. This is probably true most of the time.... I wonder if that is why Mormon only wrote a "100th" part of the story when he abridged the Book of Mormon. Was the rest of it just mindless drivel like my journals are? I really hope not, but, there has got to be some of what he left out that really has no point. Hopefully if that is the case it is because someone has already said it. Unfortunately I do not think that is the case with my writings. My writings have no point some times simply because they have no point. Like today, the only reason I am writing is so I don't have to say "well it has  been a while, again."
My mother-in-law has been staying with us this week. Yesterday she mentioned that she would like to hear me play and sing. I got the guitar out for the first time in a long time and sat down to play.  

It was nice to sit on the back deck in the middle of July, the weather was very pleasant, and sing and play. Barb took this picture and posted it on Facebook. There have been a lot of comments about it. This is something I enjoy but do not do enough of. I have not taken time for these little pleasures lately. I hope I can follow the council given by President Norquist when he set me apart for my calling in the bishopric to find balance between work, family, calling and time for myself. I have not figured that one out just yet. I am however going to spend the day tomorrow refereeing soccer, something else that I really enjoy. It has been a very nice week. There is a lot going on, but, this week for some reason, I have been able to slow down just a little bit. Tonight I get to go to a concert with Rachel. I don't think I have ever done anything like that with any of my kids. Barb is unable to go because her mom is here, I am excited to go with Rachel. We take her to Utah for school in a month. My how the time flies.

So it has been a while......

Dang, I have already used that title before.... oh well, it has been a while. I was recently reading an article in the Ensign about keeping a journal.... one of the suggestions was to keep a journal by keeping a blog.... made me think of my blog and the fact that it has been a really long time since I have posted anything to it. I am really bad that way, I will make entries in my journal or on my blog and then I will go for a long time and not make any. Sigh, I always have the excuse of how busy things are.... So that isn't really a good excuse, I know.
A brief run down of the summer so far....
Remodel projects, graduation, girls camp, trek, more remodel projects, work, serving in callings.... I could go on and on. Funny story about the latest remodel project. So I am redoing the bathroom in the basement, new shower, new vanity, new sink new toilet, floor, the whole works. The bathroom down stairs has no HVAC vent so in the winter it is cold. That being said, we decide to put a fan/light/heater in the ceiling. This requires a 20 amp circuit, it only has a 15 amp circuit. So, I am pulling new 12 gauge wire from the panel for the 20 amp circuit, this requires the drilling of holes through the floor joists to get the wire where I need it.I cut several holes in the sheet rock.... next time I am just going to tear the sheet rock out, live and learn.... and find that drilling holes is difficult because there isn't a lot of room for the drill / drill bit combo. Anyway, in one particularly tight spot I cannot really see what I am doing as I drill the hole. Good thing that the sister missionaries are present when I do this because I drilled a 3/4" hole through the floor, yes all the way through the new hard wood floor in our living room. I think that the missionaries being there is the only thing that kept Barb from killing me. I know their presence is the only thing that kept me from swearing. Since the sisters were there, all we could do was laugh about it. Right now the rug covers the hole nicely, it is going to be a lot of work to replace the plank with the hole in it, so it may be a while.... Sigh, live an learn, take the sheet rock out so you can see what you are doing, the sheet rock is much easier to fix than the floor. The whole process is teaching us patience, control, skills and a whole lot of other stuff.
I think that another change since the last time that I wrote on my blog is that I am no longer with Aarmac, however, I still work for Robert, Mac and Debbie at the shop. I am now managing the shop so that it can be a profitable operation instead of just a drain. I actually like being at the shop, mostly because there is some variety, and I am not sitting in a cubical all day. I can get out and turn a wrench, drive a truck, mow the weeds and basically get away from my desk from time to time. I have enjoyed it.
So ok, time flies when you are writing on a blog, it need to go. Hopefully I will make more frequent entries.