Kids are a trial

My kids are trying my patience. Not really sure what to do about it. Jacob is trying my patience the most right now. He wants to go to Utah so he can go on a "Date" with this girl he has become all attached to. He is getting angry about the fact that Barb and I are resisting that, and the his Uncle Allen isn't helping him out either. He wanted to leave to go back to Utah today, Allen doesn't need his help until the end of next week. What he wants to do is take his time going so that he can go on a date with Lexi on the way to St. George. The problem that he isn't taking into consideration is that he has no money, he barley has enough that he could make the trip and go on the date but he has nothing more than that. He can stay here and work and time it so that he is in Southern Utah to help for a couple of weeks before coming back here. The other thing he isn't considering is the fact that he has no money saved for his mission, zero. His mission is going to cost $15 to $20k and he is expecting me to foot the bill so he can go off and play. I am a failure in this area of raising my kids. They should be wanting to make their own way instead of waiting for someone to pay for everything for them. Barb blames me, she is right of course. Now I don't know what to do about it or how to address it.

Lydia is having stress about her soccer team in that her coaches are wanting different things from her that she doesn't think are a good idea. She wants me to get involved by trying to get them to change what they are doing. Having been a coach, I know that this is not going to go over well. I have Lydia and Barb pressuring me to do something, what really needs to happen is that Lydia needs to understand that in life we have to adjust to things, that we cannot always fight what we don't agree with. I want her to learn this lesson in life, that sometimes you may not agree with what is going on, and you may have a better idea, but we also have to respect our leaders and their judgment. I will try and get involved for next year, but I don't feel like there is anything I can do for this year. What needs to happen is such a radical change from what they are doing that I think it would be counter productive to try this late in the season.

Rachel is having stress about a decision about having surgery on her jaw. What they are wanting to do is mostly cosmetic, however, it will help her bite. It is major surgery and will be very miserable for her. I really think that she should not do it, but I am willing to support her in whatever decision she makes. The problem is that she won't make a decision.

Jed is still having issues with his grades. Even after Barb wrote up a contract and had him sign it he is still being lazy about his school work, and seems to still be lying and making excuses about it. I worry about him because I see him doing some of the same stuff Kade did. I am not sure what to do to motivate him, he doesn't seem to be interested in anything useful. I hope I can find some insights.

Josiah is the one who seems to be struggling the least. The issue I am having in regard to him is baseball. He wants to play, but I just can't get into it. I am unfortunately being negative about it and the things that the league is doing to try and force support and raise money. He can tell that Barb and I are not being very supportive of him. I really wish he would have a desire to be involved in a different sport. Barb doesn't hold back any of her dislike of baseball. Both Jed and Josiah are having issues with not having the opportunity to play Rugby. Not sure what to do about that, I would really like to get a club started here.

Sigh, being a parent is not easy.  

Remember Jerry, what Elder Holland said: "Yes, life has its problems, and yes, there are negative things to face.... no misfortune is so bad that whining about it won't make it worse."

I hope I am not whining, I just need to write my thoughts down so that I can get them out of my head where I can examine them. Sometimes for me it takes vocalizing or writing what I am thinking to be able to look at the though clearly. Many times I can see how ridiculous something is as soon as it leaves my mouth or hits the paper. Writing them down also gives me an opportunity think about it and then revisit it later. Hopefully this isn't whining...   

Reflection

A lot has gone on the past 6 months. We have been in Minot about 6 months now, it is hard to believe all that has happened. Today I have been reflecting on the last few months. I knew that at about 6 months my family and I would start to have to deal with some depression. Even knowing that has not stopped it from happening, because we all are. Compounding this is the sheer magnitude of all that has transpired the past year. It was a year ago this month that we were in North Dakota for a visit. I knew at that time that we would be coming. I felt it, it was undeniable. I didn't share this feeling with anyone but I felt it just the same. What I did not realize was the magnitude of all that was going to happen before we left. Mom's cancer and passing was not expected. Adding the move, new job, new callings for Barb and I, new schools for the kids, Jacob going to college and receiving a mission call... oh my! This has been a remarkable year, a year for much growth, a year where the Lord has really tested us. I don't think that he is done with us yet. There is more to come I am sure. I am grateful that my family has been willing to do what the Lord asks. They are all so good, I know that it is hard for them but they are all amazing and will learn and grow from the experience. I am so grateful to be blessed with such a wonderful family. They have their days when I wonder what I am going to with them, but then again, I have my days as well. I love my family and wish the best for them.