Hmmm

This past month has been very interesting. It has been very hard, there has been a great deal of opposition in our lives. Barb was called into the Relief Society presidency, that may have been part of the opposition. I was disappointed in not getting a job that I felt really good about. It has really shaken my confidence in recognizing the promptings of the Spirit. Not sure what to think. I am still working for dad on the farm, every time I mention looking for a job to my dad he comes up with a new list of things that need to be done. I know that there is always work to do on the farm, but, I feel like I need to get a job. So far I have not been blessed in that area for some reason. There must still be something I or someone in my family needs to learn. I hope we learn it quick. Sorry about all of the random stuff in this post. I just have a lot of stuff going on in my head right now.

Opposition

Barb and I have felt a great deal of opposition this last couple of week than I think we have ever experienced before. There are many forces at work trying to cause us to do something irrational or stupid. It is affecting our personal lives as well as our relationship. It has been a difficult time for us. It would take days to explain, and I am not sure that I know all of what is going on myself, however, it centers around two things, my unemployment, and my family. These two things are causing a great deal of stress in my family. Satan has been capitalizing on both of them, the opposition has been increasing a great deal the last couple of days. Does this mean that something is coming? Or is this just a test? I wish I knew, today was a particularly bad day. We have worked through it for today but I fear another wave will come in the near future. "...know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. D & C 122: 7 Then in the next verse comes the rebuke "The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?"

Good Day

It has been a good day today. I got up before the kids and studied the scriptures this morning without distractions. Good way to start! Amazing since I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night. I was able to help my mom by picking her pomegranates this morning. Barb and I went to the temple and did initiatory. I was able to de-junk part of the garage this afternoon before I went to mutual. All in all it has been a good day. I am wondering however, why am I still awake. I have reached the point of tiredness where my eyes feel as if someone threw gravel into them. Looking forward to another good day tomorrow.

Course Correction

My wife and I had an interesting conversation this evening. The realization that we need a course correction in our lives. Somewhere, I have slipped, so has my wife. Our scripture study is empty, our prayers are much the same, our temple worship, and Sunday meetings are not as effective as the used to be. Why? The realization that we are off course and not doing the little things diligently enough has caused us to see how we have drifted. For example, I don't get out of bed before the kids anymore. I used to get up before everyone in the house every morning so that I had some quiet time to study the scriptures. I prayed kneeling on the hard tile in the kitchen in an effort to keep myself alert and paying attention to my prayers, I don't do that anymore. I used to devour the Ensign, reading and rereading the articles. I used to be far more diligent in my callings, complaining about them far less. I need to change. I need to get back to doing those things. I need to get back to writing in my journal on a regular basis. I will start in the morning, I have set my alarm for 5 am so that I can have my quiet study time. I have spent the last 40 minutes reading conference talks. I am writing on my blog which I use as a journal.
Another thing that occurred to me today was that I keep praying that the Lord will lead me to somewhere where I am needed. If I am very honest with myself, I am needed right here right now. Not necessarily for a Church calling, but to help my parents, my family. I realize that this is not a permanent situation, but just maybe, this is where the Lord wants me right now. With that realization I came to the conclusion that maybe my prayers are not being answered because I am not asking the right questions. I believe this to be the case. I am going to have to alter my prayers somewhat until I start asking the correct questions.
A course correction, I am not sure how far off course I or my wife is, but I think it is important that we get back on course. I have started tonight, altering course by a few degrees. I don't want to go off course in another direction, small adjustments are best. I will make some adjustments, re-evaluate, and then adjust some more. I think that is the answer to what is going on in my life right now.
Just another thought, I have a wonderful wife. She is so good at recognizing that something is amiss, and even better at figuring out what it is. I owe so much of who I am to her. I know that I have changed a great deal in the last 16 years. I think overall the change has been good. I love my wife and I don't know what I would do without her. I know I would be in a lot worse shape than I am in now without her!

Loved conference

Conference this last weekend was great. There was so much good stuff! I am really excited for Jim and family getting a temple in Brigham City. That announcement gave me goose bumps. The Priesthood session was really good, especially the talks by the first presidency, work hard, be prepared, don't get angry. I think they all apply to me, then again, a lot of the talks did.
Today was another Monday. I was once again passed over for a job that I have great qualifications for. It left me a little depressed this morning, then my wife reminded me that I have felt that I am where I am supposed to be doing what I am supposed to be doing right now. She said that she got a confirmation of that from conference. We are supposed to be patient, serve others, fulfill our callings, and trust in the Lord. He has His own timetable and as long as we follow the promptings that we have had that things will work out in a way that will benefit us a great deal. It is difficult with all that is going on right now in the world and with the economy to stand still and let the Lord work in His own way and on His own timetable.

The Dutchman's Ranch

Went to the ranch today to get a load of cows. Haven't been there in years. Wind was blowing, it was cold! Enjoyed being there though, even if I was dealing with the ornery cows out in a cold wind. I prefer to let my brother deal with the cows for the most part, I like taking care of the farm. I guess I have the dirt in my soul or something. Never have like dealing with cows, they have got to be one of the dumbest critters on earth. They sure do taste good though!
I got to the ranch a little early and had a chance to look around a bit while I was waiting. My cousin has been fixing up the old ranch house again. Went inside, still has 3 bunk beds, a twin bed, table, old coal and wood stove. Someone has added a couple of cupboards. Aside from the new doors and windows, it looks the same as it always has. A couple of the old cotton wood trees to the south have fallen down. Blocked off the bank across the little creek where I used to shoot cans and bottles with my BB gun when I was a kid. Most of the old corrals have been taken out and replaced as well. The new corrals made sorting out the cattle a lot easier. I just realized that today was the first time I have ever had anything to do with the fall round up at the ranch. When I was younger I always stayed around here to help with hay and silage and farm stuff. This year I am doing both. It has been a busy week, the next couple will be more of the same.

Fall

I just commented on my Facebook page about how the wind today had a "bite" to it. I spent the morning at the feed yard fixing corrals and getting ready to bring cattle in. If the sun would have gone behind the clouds I would have been looking for a coat. The wind, or maybe you could call it a breeze, no it was a wind was cool and felt very much like fall. I brought back memories of working on the farm during the fall. This was the time of year that we put up the corn silage, my mind drifted back to those days, days much like today with a cool wind blowing and the hard work required to get everything done. Silage, hay, cattle to round up and bring in, yes the fall and the spring were always busy times on the farm. I have reflected upon those times a lot this last week, not sure why, I guess working on the farm as the weather changes reminds me of those times.
On a side note, I don't like the wind, it is one weather condition that I could do without. However, today's cool fall wind was a welcome change from the Satan's breath straight from Hell wind that we normally get around here. We seem to have had more than our fair share of wind this past summer. Either I can't remember the wind blowing so much, or the wind has blown a lot more than usual.