Hmmmm. It has been some time since I have posted to my blog, actually, I forgot I had one for a time. I suppose that the newness wore off and... well you get what I mean. I have been very busy with work, the farm, coaching Lydia's soccer team... 1st place U15 Girls in the RCL spring season... did I say farm, and more farm and then some more work? Barbie has been going to school so our home has been a little crazy the last few months. In spite of all of that, I am taking Barbie to Hawaii for a belated anniversary... she was in summer school in June..., we leave Thursday morning. I can't wait, I have already told everyone at work that I don't care what happens come 5pm Wednesday! Very excited, Barbie and I both need the break before the new school year starts. School, Ahhhh, new territory, a Senior, 2 in High School, 2 driving, only one in Elementary, lots of crazy stuff going on in our lives right now. Well, got to get back to the grind stone @ DJB, I guess my "break" is over. :)

Wow, I am worse at blogging than I am at writing in a journal. Over a year? What can I say. It has been busy since I left employment at WRS, 10 1/2 months of unemployment spent helping my dad with the farm. Then a new job at DJB Gas has kept me occupied. I almost forgot that I even have a blog. Not sure I will be very consistent from here on out. Most of the time I think that I am waisting my time writing anything here. Does anyone read? Does anyone care?

December?

Is it really December? Where has the time gone? It is hard to believe that I have been unemployed for almost six months. Everything has just been a blur to me. There never seem as if there is enough time in the day to get it all done, the next thing I know and six months has gone by. What am I to do?

Hmmm

This past month has been very interesting. It has been very hard, there has been a great deal of opposition in our lives. Barb was called into the Relief Society presidency, that may have been part of the opposition. I was disappointed in not getting a job that I felt really good about. It has really shaken my confidence in recognizing the promptings of the Spirit. Not sure what to think. I am still working for dad on the farm, every time I mention looking for a job to my dad he comes up with a new list of things that need to be done. I know that there is always work to do on the farm, but, I feel like I need to get a job. So far I have not been blessed in that area for some reason. There must still be something I or someone in my family needs to learn. I hope we learn it quick. Sorry about all of the random stuff in this post. I just have a lot of stuff going on in my head right now.

Opposition

Barb and I have felt a great deal of opposition this last couple of week than I think we have ever experienced before. There are many forces at work trying to cause us to do something irrational or stupid. It is affecting our personal lives as well as our relationship. It has been a difficult time for us. It would take days to explain, and I am not sure that I know all of what is going on myself, however, it centers around two things, my unemployment, and my family. These two things are causing a great deal of stress in my family. Satan has been capitalizing on both of them, the opposition has been increasing a great deal the last couple of days. Does this mean that something is coming? Or is this just a test? I wish I knew, today was a particularly bad day. We have worked through it for today but I fear another wave will come in the near future. "...know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. D & C 122: 7 Then in the next verse comes the rebuke "The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?"

Good Day

It has been a good day today. I got up before the kids and studied the scriptures this morning without distractions. Good way to start! Amazing since I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night. I was able to help my mom by picking her pomegranates this morning. Barb and I went to the temple and did initiatory. I was able to de-junk part of the garage this afternoon before I went to mutual. All in all it has been a good day. I am wondering however, why am I still awake. I have reached the point of tiredness where my eyes feel as if someone threw gravel into them. Looking forward to another good day tomorrow.

Course Correction

My wife and I had an interesting conversation this evening. The realization that we need a course correction in our lives. Somewhere, I have slipped, so has my wife. Our scripture study is empty, our prayers are much the same, our temple worship, and Sunday meetings are not as effective as the used to be. Why? The realization that we are off course and not doing the little things diligently enough has caused us to see how we have drifted. For example, I don't get out of bed before the kids anymore. I used to get up before everyone in the house every morning so that I had some quiet time to study the scriptures. I prayed kneeling on the hard tile in the kitchen in an effort to keep myself alert and paying attention to my prayers, I don't do that anymore. I used to devour the Ensign, reading and rereading the articles. I used to be far more diligent in my callings, complaining about them far less. I need to change. I need to get back to doing those things. I need to get back to writing in my journal on a regular basis. I will start in the morning, I have set my alarm for 5 am so that I can have my quiet study time. I have spent the last 40 minutes reading conference talks. I am writing on my blog which I use as a journal.
Another thing that occurred to me today was that I keep praying that the Lord will lead me to somewhere where I am needed. If I am very honest with myself, I am needed right here right now. Not necessarily for a Church calling, but to help my parents, my family. I realize that this is not a permanent situation, but just maybe, this is where the Lord wants me right now. With that realization I came to the conclusion that maybe my prayers are not being answered because I am not asking the right questions. I believe this to be the case. I am going to have to alter my prayers somewhat until I start asking the correct questions.
A course correction, I am not sure how far off course I or my wife is, but I think it is important that we get back on course. I have started tonight, altering course by a few degrees. I don't want to go off course in another direction, small adjustments are best. I will make some adjustments, re-evaluate, and then adjust some more. I think that is the answer to what is going on in my life right now.
Just another thought, I have a wonderful wife. She is so good at recognizing that something is amiss, and even better at figuring out what it is. I owe so much of who I am to her. I know that I have changed a great deal in the last 16 years. I think overall the change has been good. I love my wife and I don't know what I would do without her. I know I would be in a lot worse shape than I am in now without her!