Reflection

A lot has gone on the past 6 months. We have been in Minot about 6 months now, it is hard to believe all that has happened. Today I have been reflecting on the last few months. I knew that at about 6 months my family and I would start to have to deal with some depression. Even knowing that has not stopped it from happening, because we all are. Compounding this is the sheer magnitude of all that has transpired the past year. It was a year ago this month that we were in North Dakota for a visit. I knew at that time that we would be coming. I felt it, it was undeniable. I didn't share this feeling with anyone but I felt it just the same. What I did not realize was the magnitude of all that was going to happen before we left. Mom's cancer and passing was not expected. Adding the move, new job, new callings for Barb and I, new schools for the kids, Jacob going to college and receiving a mission call... oh my! This has been a remarkable year, a year for much growth, a year where the Lord has really tested us. I don't think that he is done with us yet. There is more to come I am sure. I am grateful that my family has been willing to do what the Lord asks. They are all so good, I know that it is hard for them but they are all amazing and will learn and grow from the experience. I am so grateful to be blessed with such a wonderful family. They have their days when I wonder what I am going to with them, but then again, I have my days as well. I love my family and wish the best for them.

It has been a while

A lot has happened. My family and I have moved to Minot North Dakota, I am working for Aarmac Transport as their financial manager. I have been really busy so I haven't written on my blog for some time. Lydia has been talking about some of the fun stories that we have from being here in North Dakota, mostly related to the adjustments that we have to make to the things that are different. She wants to start blogging about them and wanted to create a blog, I told her that we have one which made me think of my blog and the fact that I have not written in a long time.
Last Sunday our ward in Minot was split. They took the two wards on Minot and made three. As a result I was called to be the 1st councilor in the bishopric of the Minot 1st ward. It has been quite an experience so far. We have been working on reorganizing the auxiliaries in the ward since most of them lost people from the presidencies. My life has suddenly become very busy, however, I can already feel the help that the Lord provides to compensate for the business. I was worried that I would not have as much time with my family, so far this week, even though I have been very busy, it feels like I have had more "meaningful" time with each member of my family than ever before. Being involved in reorganizing the ward has been a wonderful experience. Many of the things that I have heard people who serve in these callings say over the years I finally understand. Much of it is impossible to comprehend until you experience it for yourself. The love and concern I feel for people that I do not even know is amazing, I know that as part of my calling that the Savior is sharing his love with me so that I can feel about the members of the ward the way that he feels about them. It is a remarkable and humbling experience.
Today will be the first time in almost 20 years that I will be in a sacrament meeting with my family but not sitting by them. This will be an adjustment for all of us. There is much work to do, and many things that I will have to learn. I am thankful for the trust and confidence that the Lord has placed in my abilities, I feel very inadequate.

Wow!

I was just thinking about the last 3 or so months. I cannot believe what has transpired! The next 2 are going to continue to be crazy with the move. I have the feeling that you get when you start out on a roller coaster, that point when you start to move and you know you can't get off, all you can do is ride it out. My life feels like that right now, I am moving and there is no getting off. Don't get me wrong, it isn't a bad thing, just a little overwhelming at times. I leave for Minot on Friday. I need to find a home that we can move into so that our family can be in Minot before Christmas. The next month is going to be one crazy ride! It is exciting and scary all at the same time.

Moving Forward

Today I feel better about moving. I am actually getting some things done that needed to be done. I got a Wells Fargo account set up, and checked with a friend about securing a home loan for a new place in Minot. He told me what I already knew, that borrowing the down payment form my home in Santa Clara to purchase a home in Minot makes the most sense. He even thought that I may be able to borrow 100% for the new home so that I will be able to pay off the short term loan on the home here. I hope so, I don't really like the idea of having both tied up with loans. I need to go and check on that with Zions and see what they can do for me. It is hard to believe that I will be heading to Minot next weekend. It will be nice to get started and get some of the questions that I have sorted out. Barb is wanting to know the plan, I don't really have a complete plan, just sort of an outline. That isn't good enough to put my wife at ease.

Miss Mom

I miss mom. She passed away a week ago today peacefully in my brother's home after a short battle with a recurrence of the thyroid cancer she had 7 years ago. I have been at peace with it all, but it doesn't make me miss her any less. My family was able to spend some quality time with mom for family home evening Monday before she passed away. Rachel and Lydia played a violin flute duet for her and then played several songs from the primary song book. They played for about an hour, although I don't know that mom was very responsive I am sure she was aware of them playing and enjoyed it. She loves music. After talking things over with dad and my brother  we gave her a blessing reassuring her that we will take care of dad and that it was ok for her to move on. It was a very tender experience as I hugged her, told her I love you and had her be aware enough to respond with I love you back. My family was able to say goodbye... it was a very tender moment where the Spirit was very strong. Wednesday morning was not a surprise when I got a text message saying "Come home". Mom's funeral was a very fitting tribute to her, Jayne, Lyndi, Allen and Brett Smith spoke, Rachel and Lydia did their duet, I sang and Julie Weist sang. It was short and sweet and I feel that mom was pleased. Dad is having a hard time which is to be expected. My news that I am moving to North Dakota had poor timing with everything that was going on and didn't help him much. I am having a hard time coming to grips with the move today, I am excited and scared all at the same time. There is so much to do and I will be in North Dakota where I won't be any help to Barb with packing up. I have to be on a plane on the 9th of November so that I can start work on the 12th. Things are really going to get crazy.

"You're so much handsome now dad"

I put a new picture of myself on my blog.... Rachel had me go look at it, then she asked me to scroll down to look at the old one. She started laughing, I was so round in the face in the old one. She is still laughing.... she said "You're so much handsome now dad". I don't know how to take that! She tried to save face by saying "you were handsome before, we didn't notice that you were so... dorky" trying to make me feel better. Sometimes I don't know how to take my teenagers. She is still laughing....

Crazy

Things are really crazy! Shortly after mom and dad's home flooded dad was admitted to the hospital. He had 3 stints put in, and while there passed out and flat lined. It was really scary for a couple of days, we are glad that he is home now. Mom has actually been improving the last couple of days. She still can't walk but she has been feeling well enough to actually admit that she feels better. The farm and cows are busier than ever, I am refereeing soccer, Barb is going to school and DJB is moving to a new location.... Whew! I have not had any spare time lately with all that is going on and actually once again forgot about my blog. I was reading Jacob's blog which is what me remember that it has been a long time since I have written. I really don't have anything profound to say. Our family is really busy right now. Jacob will be home tomorrow for fall break, Rachel is refereeing soccer and teaching violin. Lydia is playing soccer, they are region champs! Jed has been taking over for Jacob with mowing lawns. Josiah is spending more and more time with his friends, he has become a very social person. Barb is getting settled into her classes and figuring out her professors.