Thinking about my journals

 The last couple of weeks I have been thinking about my journals that I have kept over the years. This blog is one of them. As I was thinking about things I have written in the past I thought about the stories that I had written about the cows and the fact that I lost the thumb drive that they were stored on. I remembered posting them on this blog and checked to see if I still have access to it, which to my delight I still do. I am glad that the stories I wrote are still here, that they were not lost with the thumb drive, another reason to keep a journal, and to keep it in more than one format. Barb and I talked about what we would do if our home burned down, related to things we would like to change about our current home. As I thought about this loosing the home doesn’t necessarily concern me, yes it would be a difficult trial, however, as I think about that possibility the items that would be devastating to lose are things like our journals. Of all of the possessions I can think of that I would really hate to lose, journals, family videos, pictures, this type of things are the ones that would make me the most sad to lose. When my mom’s basement flooded, those are the things that we lost that were the hardest.... for example, all of the letters that I wrote on my mission are all gone, along with the letters that I received from my family. Today, with e-mail, many if not all of those letters would have been preserved, at least all of the electronic letters. This blog would survive such an event. Yes things can happen to electronic writings. Which is why I am now convinced that keeping more than one format is a good way to preserve our journals. I look forward to reading through some of what I have written in the past. There is much that can be learned from looking back at the person we were.

A few days later

So here it is a few days later, I have already fallen into the "not writing on my blog" trap again after one post where I said "It has been a while" Sigh.... Sometimes I don't write because I don't feel like I have anything to say. This is probably true most of the time.... I wonder if that is why Mormon only wrote a "100th" part of the story when he abridged the Book of Mormon. Was the rest of it just mindless drivel like my journals are? I really hope not, but, there has got to be some of what he left out that really has no point. Hopefully if that is the case it is because someone has already said it. Unfortunately I do not think that is the case with my writings. My writings have no point some times simply because they have no point. Like today, the only reason I am writing is so I don't have to say "well it has  been a while, again."
My mother-in-law has been staying with us this week. Yesterday she mentioned that she would like to hear me play and sing. I got the guitar out for the first time in a long time and sat down to play.  

It was nice to sit on the back deck in the middle of July, the weather was very pleasant, and sing and play. Barb took this picture and posted it on Facebook. There have been a lot of comments about it. This is something I enjoy but do not do enough of. I have not taken time for these little pleasures lately. I hope I can follow the council given by President Norquist when he set me apart for my calling in the bishopric to find balance between work, family, calling and time for myself. I have not figured that one out just yet. I am however going to spend the day tomorrow refereeing soccer, something else that I really enjoy. It has been a very nice week. There is a lot going on, but, this week for some reason, I have been able to slow down just a little bit. Tonight I get to go to a concert with Rachel. I don't think I have ever done anything like that with any of my kids. Barb is unable to go because her mom is here, I am excited to go with Rachel. We take her to Utah for school in a month. My how the time flies.

So it has been a while......

Dang, I have already used that title before.... oh well, it has been a while. I was recently reading an article in the Ensign about keeping a journal.... one of the suggestions was to keep a journal by keeping a blog.... made me think of my blog and the fact that it has been a really long time since I have posted anything to it. I am really bad that way, I will make entries in my journal or on my blog and then I will go for a long time and not make any. Sigh, I always have the excuse of how busy things are.... So that isn't really a good excuse, I know.
A brief run down of the summer so far....
Remodel projects, graduation, girls camp, trek, more remodel projects, work, serving in callings.... I could go on and on. Funny story about the latest remodel project. So I am redoing the bathroom in the basement, new shower, new vanity, new sink new toilet, floor, the whole works. The bathroom down stairs has no HVAC vent so in the winter it is cold. That being said, we decide to put a fan/light/heater in the ceiling. This requires a 20 amp circuit, it only has a 15 amp circuit. So, I am pulling new 12 gauge wire from the panel for the 20 amp circuit, this requires the drilling of holes through the floor joists to get the wire where I need it.I cut several holes in the sheet rock.... next time I am just going to tear the sheet rock out, live and learn.... and find that drilling holes is difficult because there isn't a lot of room for the drill / drill bit combo. Anyway, in one particularly tight spot I cannot really see what I am doing as I drill the hole. Good thing that the sister missionaries are present when I do this because I drilled a 3/4" hole through the floor, yes all the way through the new hard wood floor in our living room. I think that the missionaries being there is the only thing that kept Barb from killing me. I know their presence is the only thing that kept me from swearing. Since the sisters were there, all we could do was laugh about it. Right now the rug covers the hole nicely, it is going to be a lot of work to replace the plank with the hole in it, so it may be a while.... Sigh, live an learn, take the sheet rock out so you can see what you are doing, the sheet rock is much easier to fix than the floor. The whole process is teaching us patience, control, skills and a whole lot of other stuff.
I think that another change since the last time that I wrote on my blog is that I am no longer with Aarmac, however, I still work for Robert, Mac and Debbie at the shop. I am now managing the shop so that it can be a profitable operation instead of just a drain. I actually like being at the shop, mostly because there is some variety, and I am not sitting in a cubical all day. I can get out and turn a wrench, drive a truck, mow the weeds and basically get away from my desk from time to time. I have enjoyed it.
So ok, time flies when you are writing on a blog, it need to go. Hopefully I will make more frequent entries.

9.24.13

My oldest daughter turned 18 yesterday. The next one in line turns 16 next month. It is hard to believe that I have kids that old, one on a mission, my youngest on his last year in elementary school. Here is Jacob's latest letter:

Oi minha família!

Hopefully all is well in your various parts of the U.S. Things are well here...I am getting a little antsy to get into the field (though I'm sure that after some time there I will wish I was back here). For those that haven't heard, we got our reassignments yesterday. I am going to the SLC South Mission until I get my visa. I honestly couldn't be anymore excited. The Lord knows me so well and I feel that the SLC South mission is perfect for me. I leave the MTC Tuesday at 5am.

Other than that, not too much to report. We had in-field orientation yesterday, which was a powerful spiritual learning experience. We talked about finding people to teach, faith, working with members, and they had lots of cool objects lessons to demonstrate everything. It was really cool.

We also got to see part of a film by T.C. Christensen and Rob Tanner, who made 17 Miracles. It is called "Ephraim's Rescue." I don't remember when it comes out on DVD so that those who don't live in Utah can see it, but for those that live here, Brother Tanner said that it is in theaters for a short while longer.

So, because everything that we do is rather unchanging, I don't have anything else to report today. Not this Monday but the next will be my next email, and then I will get to tell you what I have done in the field for a few days.

Anyway, I love you all and wish you all well. You are constantly in my prayers.

Até mais!

Elder Jacob C. Frei

He is doing really well, I am glad that he is willing and that he is better prepared than I was. 

Not sure why I thought of my blog today, but thought that I should put something on it.

Sigh....

It has been a while again since I have posted to my blog. Hit and miss, just like with my journal. North Dakota has been very busy this summer. Vacations, soccer tournaments, church calling, home remodeling.... Last week we got through a very cool girls camp. 4 stakes, guest speakers Jeremy Harvey, Hank Smith and Sister Marriott! I got to go to Jamestown Friday night and listen to Sister Marriott, sat right behind her and her husband. Very good. Scout camp is coming up, another big event to celebrate 100 years of Scouting in the church. Multi-stake, have reserved the entire Boy Scout Camp Wilderness in Minnesota. A member of the young men's general presidency, Thurl Bailey and others. Should be very cool.

This week Bishop Lund is out of town on vacation. As 1st councilor in the Bishopric I am presiding over the ward. On Thursday I will be presiding over and conducting a funeral for one of our ward members. I have never met brother Walz, he passed away last Thursday at the age of 67. I had to represent the bishopric at girls camp, Bishop was unable to come due to trying to get everything done at work so that he could go on vacation. He is not going to be able to go to Scout Camp for the full time, hopefully he will be able to come for a couple of days. My experience in the bishopric has been an opportunity to learn and grow. There are so many things that a bishop does in and for the ward that most members do not see. As I try to help where I can I am learning a great deal about ward leadership and how the Lord's kingdom works. I also am learning that my problems and issues are small. It makes me grateful for all that I have been blessed with.

I just updated one of my Cow Chips stories. Fence Jumping. As I was pondering what to say to the youth, something that would help them in their lives, help them to understand how the commandments are a protection and not a restriction I thought of this story and how I can use it to illustrate this point. Like the scriptures, today I have learned something very different from a story that I wrote about a long time ago. I think I may have made the connection between fences and commandments in one of my other stories, but this story seems to be a really good illustration of this concept. There is always something to learn, even if you have read or heard it a 1000 times, you can always learn something new....

Kids are a trial

My kids are trying my patience. Not really sure what to do about it. Jacob is trying my patience the most right now. He wants to go to Utah so he can go on a "Date" with this girl he has become all attached to. He is getting angry about the fact that Barb and I are resisting that, and the his Uncle Allen isn't helping him out either. He wanted to leave to go back to Utah today, Allen doesn't need his help until the end of next week. What he wants to do is take his time going so that he can go on a date with Lexi on the way to St. George. The problem that he isn't taking into consideration is that he has no money, he barley has enough that he could make the trip and go on the date but he has nothing more than that. He can stay here and work and time it so that he is in Southern Utah to help for a couple of weeks before coming back here. The other thing he isn't considering is the fact that he has no money saved for his mission, zero. His mission is going to cost $15 to $20k and he is expecting me to foot the bill so he can go off and play. I am a failure in this area of raising my kids. They should be wanting to make their own way instead of waiting for someone to pay for everything for them. Barb blames me, she is right of course. Now I don't know what to do about it or how to address it.

Lydia is having stress about her soccer team in that her coaches are wanting different things from her that she doesn't think are a good idea. She wants me to get involved by trying to get them to change what they are doing. Having been a coach, I know that this is not going to go over well. I have Lydia and Barb pressuring me to do something, what really needs to happen is that Lydia needs to understand that in life we have to adjust to things, that we cannot always fight what we don't agree with. I want her to learn this lesson in life, that sometimes you may not agree with what is going on, and you may have a better idea, but we also have to respect our leaders and their judgment. I will try and get involved for next year, but I don't feel like there is anything I can do for this year. What needs to happen is such a radical change from what they are doing that I think it would be counter productive to try this late in the season.

Rachel is having stress about a decision about having surgery on her jaw. What they are wanting to do is mostly cosmetic, however, it will help her bite. It is major surgery and will be very miserable for her. I really think that she should not do it, but I am willing to support her in whatever decision she makes. The problem is that she won't make a decision.

Jed is still having issues with his grades. Even after Barb wrote up a contract and had him sign it he is still being lazy about his school work, and seems to still be lying and making excuses about it. I worry about him because I see him doing some of the same stuff Kade did. I am not sure what to do to motivate him, he doesn't seem to be interested in anything useful. I hope I can find some insights.

Josiah is the one who seems to be struggling the least. The issue I am having in regard to him is baseball. He wants to play, but I just can't get into it. I am unfortunately being negative about it and the things that the league is doing to try and force support and raise money. He can tell that Barb and I are not being very supportive of him. I really wish he would have a desire to be involved in a different sport. Barb doesn't hold back any of her dislike of baseball. Both Jed and Josiah are having issues with not having the opportunity to play Rugby. Not sure what to do about that, I would really like to get a club started here.

Sigh, being a parent is not easy.  

Remember Jerry, what Elder Holland said: "Yes, life has its problems, and yes, there are negative things to face.... no misfortune is so bad that whining about it won't make it worse."

I hope I am not whining, I just need to write my thoughts down so that I can get them out of my head where I can examine them. Sometimes for me it takes vocalizing or writing what I am thinking to be able to look at the though clearly. Many times I can see how ridiculous something is as soon as it leaves my mouth or hits the paper. Writing them down also gives me an opportunity think about it and then revisit it later. Hopefully this isn't whining...   

Reflection

A lot has gone on the past 6 months. We have been in Minot about 6 months now, it is hard to believe all that has happened. Today I have been reflecting on the last few months. I knew that at about 6 months my family and I would start to have to deal with some depression. Even knowing that has not stopped it from happening, because we all are. Compounding this is the sheer magnitude of all that has transpired the past year. It was a year ago this month that we were in North Dakota for a visit. I knew at that time that we would be coming. I felt it, it was undeniable. I didn't share this feeling with anyone but I felt it just the same. What I did not realize was the magnitude of all that was going to happen before we left. Mom's cancer and passing was not expected. Adding the move, new job, new callings for Barb and I, new schools for the kids, Jacob going to college and receiving a mission call... oh my! This has been a remarkable year, a year for much growth, a year where the Lord has really tested us. I don't think that he is done with us yet. There is more to come I am sure. I am grateful that my family has been willing to do what the Lord asks. They are all so good, I know that it is hard for them but they are all amazing and will learn and grow from the experience. I am so grateful to be blessed with such a wonderful family. They have their days when I wonder what I am going to with them, but then again, I have my days as well. I love my family and wish the best for them.