December?

Is it really December? Where has the time gone? It is hard to believe that I have been unemployed for almost six months. Everything has just been a blur to me. There never seem as if there is enough time in the day to get it all done, the next thing I know and six months has gone by. What am I to do?

Hmmm

This past month has been very interesting. It has been very hard, there has been a great deal of opposition in our lives. Barb was called into the Relief Society presidency, that may have been part of the opposition. I was disappointed in not getting a job that I felt really good about. It has really shaken my confidence in recognizing the promptings of the Spirit. Not sure what to think. I am still working for dad on the farm, every time I mention looking for a job to my dad he comes up with a new list of things that need to be done. I know that there is always work to do on the farm, but, I feel like I need to get a job. So far I have not been blessed in that area for some reason. There must still be something I or someone in my family needs to learn. I hope we learn it quick. Sorry about all of the random stuff in this post. I just have a lot of stuff going on in my head right now.

Opposition

Barb and I have felt a great deal of opposition this last couple of week than I think we have ever experienced before. There are many forces at work trying to cause us to do something irrational or stupid. It is affecting our personal lives as well as our relationship. It has been a difficult time for us. It would take days to explain, and I am not sure that I know all of what is going on myself, however, it centers around two things, my unemployment, and my family. These two things are causing a great deal of stress in my family. Satan has been capitalizing on both of them, the opposition has been increasing a great deal the last couple of days. Does this mean that something is coming? Or is this just a test? I wish I knew, today was a particularly bad day. We have worked through it for today but I fear another wave will come in the near future. "...know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good. D & C 122: 7 Then in the next verse comes the rebuke "The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?"

Good Day

It has been a good day today. I got up before the kids and studied the scriptures this morning without distractions. Good way to start! Amazing since I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night. I was able to help my mom by picking her pomegranates this morning. Barb and I went to the temple and did initiatory. I was able to de-junk part of the garage this afternoon before I went to mutual. All in all it has been a good day. I am wondering however, why am I still awake. I have reached the point of tiredness where my eyes feel as if someone threw gravel into them. Looking forward to another good day tomorrow.

Course Correction

My wife and I had an interesting conversation this evening. The realization that we need a course correction in our lives. Somewhere, I have slipped, so has my wife. Our scripture study is empty, our prayers are much the same, our temple worship, and Sunday meetings are not as effective as the used to be. Why? The realization that we are off course and not doing the little things diligently enough has caused us to see how we have drifted. For example, I don't get out of bed before the kids anymore. I used to get up before everyone in the house every morning so that I had some quiet time to study the scriptures. I prayed kneeling on the hard tile in the kitchen in an effort to keep myself alert and paying attention to my prayers, I don't do that anymore. I used to devour the Ensign, reading and rereading the articles. I used to be far more diligent in my callings, complaining about them far less. I need to change. I need to get back to doing those things. I need to get back to writing in my journal on a regular basis. I will start in the morning, I have set my alarm for 5 am so that I can have my quiet study time. I have spent the last 40 minutes reading conference talks. I am writing on my blog which I use as a journal.
Another thing that occurred to me today was that I keep praying that the Lord will lead me to somewhere where I am needed. If I am very honest with myself, I am needed right here right now. Not necessarily for a Church calling, but to help my parents, my family. I realize that this is not a permanent situation, but just maybe, this is where the Lord wants me right now. With that realization I came to the conclusion that maybe my prayers are not being answered because I am not asking the right questions. I believe this to be the case. I am going to have to alter my prayers somewhat until I start asking the correct questions.
A course correction, I am not sure how far off course I or my wife is, but I think it is important that we get back on course. I have started tonight, altering course by a few degrees. I don't want to go off course in another direction, small adjustments are best. I will make some adjustments, re-evaluate, and then adjust some more. I think that is the answer to what is going on in my life right now.
Just another thought, I have a wonderful wife. She is so good at recognizing that something is amiss, and even better at figuring out what it is. I owe so much of who I am to her. I know that I have changed a great deal in the last 16 years. I think overall the change has been good. I love my wife and I don't know what I would do without her. I know I would be in a lot worse shape than I am in now without her!

Loved conference

Conference this last weekend was great. There was so much good stuff! I am really excited for Jim and family getting a temple in Brigham City. That announcement gave me goose bumps. The Priesthood session was really good, especially the talks by the first presidency, work hard, be prepared, don't get angry. I think they all apply to me, then again, a lot of the talks did.
Today was another Monday. I was once again passed over for a job that I have great qualifications for. It left me a little depressed this morning, then my wife reminded me that I have felt that I am where I am supposed to be doing what I am supposed to be doing right now. She said that she got a confirmation of that from conference. We are supposed to be patient, serve others, fulfill our callings, and trust in the Lord. He has His own timetable and as long as we follow the promptings that we have had that things will work out in a way that will benefit us a great deal. It is difficult with all that is going on right now in the world and with the economy to stand still and let the Lord work in His own way and on His own timetable.

The Dutchman's Ranch

Went to the ranch today to get a load of cows. Haven't been there in years. Wind was blowing, it was cold! Enjoyed being there though, even if I was dealing with the ornery cows out in a cold wind. I prefer to let my brother deal with the cows for the most part, I like taking care of the farm. I guess I have the dirt in my soul or something. Never have like dealing with cows, they have got to be one of the dumbest critters on earth. They sure do taste good though!
I got to the ranch a little early and had a chance to look around a bit while I was waiting. My cousin has been fixing up the old ranch house again. Went inside, still has 3 bunk beds, a twin bed, table, old coal and wood stove. Someone has added a couple of cupboards. Aside from the new doors and windows, it looks the same as it always has. A couple of the old cotton wood trees to the south have fallen down. Blocked off the bank across the little creek where I used to shoot cans and bottles with my BB gun when I was a kid. Most of the old corrals have been taken out and replaced as well. The new corrals made sorting out the cattle a lot easier. I just realized that today was the first time I have ever had anything to do with the fall round up at the ranch. When I was younger I always stayed around here to help with hay and silage and farm stuff. This year I am doing both. It has been a busy week, the next couple will be more of the same.

Fall

I just commented on my Facebook page about how the wind today had a "bite" to it. I spent the morning at the feed yard fixing corrals and getting ready to bring cattle in. If the sun would have gone behind the clouds I would have been looking for a coat. The wind, or maybe you could call it a breeze, no it was a wind was cool and felt very much like fall. I brought back memories of working on the farm during the fall. This was the time of year that we put up the corn silage, my mind drifted back to those days, days much like today with a cool wind blowing and the hard work required to get everything done. Silage, hay, cattle to round up and bring in, yes the fall and the spring were always busy times on the farm. I have reflected upon those times a lot this last week, not sure why, I guess working on the farm as the weather changes reminds me of those times.
On a side note, I don't like the wind, it is one weather condition that I could do without. However, today's cool fall wind was a welcome change from the Satan's breath straight from Hell wind that we normally get around here. We seem to have had more than our fair share of wind this past summer. Either I can't remember the wind blowing so much, or the wind has blown a lot more than usual.

Waiting for the YM to colect pennies-by-the-inch donations. Thought I would try making an entry on my blog. Can't believe Lydia is in YW. 3 out of 5, too weird.

Interesting time

It is an interesting time in my life. I have been unemployed since June 19th, although dad has been keeping me busy on the farm. It has been an interesting time, the jobs that I have interviewed for I am over qualified for and pay too little to support my family. I have recently started looking for work throughout the country. My wife has started getting the same feeling that she got before we moved in the past. She usually gets it 3 or 4 months before I do. I have mixed feelings about it all. It will be most difficult for the kids, Jacob is in high school, Rachel and Lydia are on competitive soccer teams, Jed and Sye both like their teachers this year. Barb and I are willing to go whereever, but, we both know that any move will be difficult. I suppose that this is one of the ways that the Lord tries us, to see if we will follow his will instead of doing what we want or what is easier.

It's been a while

Yes it has been a while since I have posted to my blog. I lost my job in June and have been unemployed since. Dad has been keeping me busy on the farm, but I don't have constant access to my computer like I did before, so, I have fewer opportunities to write on a blog, or check email and stuff like that. The kids are back in school and seem to be liking it so far. Right now, I have a barbed wire fence waiting for me at the farm.

Busy Busy Busy

I have been running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. I am coaching Lydia's soccer team, Jacob just finished playing Rugby, and Jed and Sye are playing baseball. I am still in the YM presidency, I have started a small business, still working a full time job that has me running all over the place, still working for Robert on the side, and now it is getting into the summer and I have been farming. Actually, the farming has been more fixing and trying to find newer equipment than anything. It is good to be busy!
I had a couple of neat experiences with promptings of the Spirit last week. One of them had to do with dad's baler of all things. I was repairing the baler and had a small bolt that was broken. It is a special bolt and the Deere place was closed. I drilled the broken piece out and was just going to head to town to try and find a bolt when I got the impression to look in the junk drawer in my tool box. I almost dismissed the idea, but decided a quick look wouldn't hurt. I opened the drawer and brushed the stuff aside and right there was one of the tiny little bolts that I needed. It was like finding the needle in the hay stack. These promptings come all the time, what I realized was that a lot of the time we don't listen. There has been many times that I just brush the ideas off as crazy. My experiences this last week made me realize that I need to take a minute and listen more often, I get ideas like this all the time. The trick is to act upon them when they come.
Well, it is time to go to soccer practice, so I better run!

Wow

Wow, it has been a while. There is a lot going on right now, so I haven't taken a lot of time to post to my blog. I am coaching Lydia's soccer team, Jed and Sye are starting baseball, Jacob is playing Rugby, I am starting a new business, it just goes on and on. Right now it is way past my bedtime and my K-9 program is going to kick me off of the Internet so this is going to be short. All I can say is that we are very busy at the Frei home right now.

Interesting

I have had two interesting things happen in the last week. Both of a spiritual nature, as I was driving to Price today I thought about them and thought I should write them down.
The first happened last week. I have been trying to sell a Jetco trencher for a guy for over a year now. I have finally reached a point where I left a message at the first of February that he needed to move it from my yard. Shortly after that I got an opportunity to sell it, in the mean time, he made arrangements to sell it to a friend for scrap to get it out of my yard. His friend and the guy that I was trying to sell the trencher to were to come look at it on the same day, his friend arriving first and having the chance to override my deal. When they got there, they looked at the machine and then came and talked to me. They did not know that I had a deal as well, and at first didn't seem to care because they were going to get the machine very cheap. They left for a little while and came and talked to me again telling me that they told the owner to sell the machine to me and that they would take it if my deal fell through. After they told me this one of them asked me if I was LDS. I said that I was, curious to know why he asked. He said that he had seen the Book of Mormon that I keep on my desk and felt that if I was LDS that I was being honest with them and not just feeding them a line. Come to find out, when they first got there they were not happy with me because the owner of the machine had raised the price on them because I had told him that I had a deal on the machine. The Book of Mormon on my desk had caused them to decide to give me the opportunity to make my sell instead of taking it from me.
The other experience happened this morning, and is related to prayer. I was working on dad's swather trying to fix it so that I could finish cutting hay before I left for Price. After checking the part that I had made, I found that I needed to make a hole bigger so that it would work. I had driven home and got a carbide de-burring tool from my tool box at home and was using it in my cordless drill when the de-burring tool fell out under the machine. I could not find the tool and was frantic because I was running out of time and didn't have time to go find something else that would work. After searching the area several times I stopped while hunched under the machine and prayed that I would be able to find the tool. After my prayer I again began to search frantically but soon felt that I should stop and sit still for a moment. After sitting still for less than a minute I got the impression to go to the cut hay that I had scooped out of the area where the tool fell and search it carefully. As I did this, sure enough, the tool had been scooped away with the cut hay. It was wrapped into the material in such a way that I did not feel it, or even though it is a shinny tool, see it. Even as I found the tool I realized that had I not stopped for a few seconds and calmed down even a little bit, I doubt that I would have found the tool when I did.
Then Lord answers prayers, even when they are seemingly insignificant to the eternal scheme of things.

Rainy day

It has been a rainy day today. I woke up with a head cold feeling like I would have to get better to die. Once I got up and started moving around some I felt well enough to go to work. I had some catch up to do from last week at the office, so, I figured I wouldn't contaminate too many people with my cold. It has been raining / snowing on and off all day. We need the moister, but it didn't make it much of a bright cheery day.
Bard and I finished the duplex remodel, now Barb is starting on my mom's house. She is doing some painting, the carpet guy is going to take care of most of the floor coverings, but once again, it makes for a busy time @ the Frei homestead. It is amazing how busy things get, I don't know if it is because our kids are getting bigger or what, but the days just fly by. It is a good thing that I like to be busy.
Speaking of busy, I need to run, I have to pick Lydia up and take her to soccer practise, it cleared up earlier, but now it is looking nasty again, maybe we won't have practise today.

Busy, busy, busy

It has been a busy month for the Frei family. Barb and I have been remodeling another one of my mom's rentals. We have been spending a lot of time there, in fact, last Saturday is the first one since we started that we have been able to take a break from it. It is almost finished, I just finished repairing a bi-fold door a few minutes ago. There are a couple of doors to hang, some touch up, a little more cleaning and a big pile of weeds to haul off and I think we are done. It sounds like the next big adventure is mom's house, she wants to redo, repaint, refurniture and who knows what else. I should keep us busy for a while, well, if mom and dad can ever agree on what exactly they are going to do so we can start.
My new calling has been a busy one. Meetings, actives during the week, a lesson yesterday, I have a busy calling again and I am loving it. Yeah it is stressful, yeah it takes me away from home more, but, I seem to thrive on being busy like that. I am still Cub master for now, so that makes things even more interesting. I have been enjoying being around the young men, this is new territory for me, I have never had a calling with the youth before. In fact, I really wasn't involved with the youth when I was one. I wasn't very active when I was a teen, and I didn't go to any of the mutual activities, at least not any that I can remember. I also never served in any of the quorum presidencies either, so all of this is really new to me. I have been trying to get a handle on where everyone is in the Duty to God program, and was finally able to figure out the computer program that we are using to keep track of it. This month has been a blur, but I am starting to settle into a routine which makes it a little easier.
Work is still slow, but seems to be picking up a little at a time. Unlike a couple of months ago my phone is ringing, and it has been customers instead of telemarketers. The fact that people are calling to get quotes is encouraging, at least it means that there are people out there who are thinking about doing jobs.
The last little while I have been very proud of my family. Jacob is working on getting into a program that will allow him to get his associate degree when he graduates from high school. Jacob and Rachel both had 4.0 report cards last semester. Lydia is in advanced math, pre-algebra, Jed is doing really well this year and not having all of the trauma with his teacher that he has had in the past, and little Sye is at the top of his class in reading. I couldn't ask for better kids, and have my sweet wife to thank. It has been her hard work that has got them where they are. She is the best!
Although there are a lot of worrisome things going on right now, mostly related to the economy and my income, things are really good. We are healthy, happy, and doing well. The Lord has truly blessed us, and He continues to bless us. We live at a great time in a great neighborhood/ward. I hope I can adequately express my gratitude to the Lord for all that he has blessed me with.

It was a little crazy at the Frei home stead over the holiday. My kids thought that since they didn't have school they should stay up late every night. They didn't seem to care that I had to work even if they weren't in school! It was a blast, got to see family that lives far away on both sides, my sister and Barb's brother and their families. Spent a lot of family time, sleding in the snow, playing on the 4 wheelers, visiting with family, and of course eating a lot of really good stuff that I shouldn't have! It has been nice to have things settle back down and get back to normal. Well, sort of normal, this has been a busy week, I was called as the young men secratary in our ward, new territory for me, I have never served in any calling with the youth (12 to 18) before. This was my fist week of meetings, going to mutual etc. I am still Cub Master and had pack meeting this week as well. At least I don't have an elders quorum lesson to prepare this month, that is one calling that has come back to me over and over again over the past 16 years. Studying a lessons for the young men that I didn't have to teach was a nice change. Well, sorry don't mean to ramble on. It is past my bed time.

This is the text from an email that I sent to a freind. I thought that it captured the events of the past week quite well so I have included it on my blog.

Holy Cow!

Ok, I cannot believe that 2008 is over! Where did it go? The holidays were really good this year. The kids figured that since they were on vacation they should stay up late and have "hoopla" every night for two weeks! We stayed up late, ate too much junk, and played a lot through the holidays. It has been nice to have school start back up, I can't stay up late every night and still go to work day after day like I could when I was younger.
I hope that 2009 is better to my work than 2008 was. The economic down-turn has been really hard on the equipment rental business. So far this year has not been so good, I hope it picks up soon or I might be flipping burgers @ "Dirty Ron's" before I know it. I didn't pick one of those professions that doesn't have any down turns like doctor, lawyer, or mortician. I had to get into something that I like doing instead, something that is susceptible to the whims of the economy. Go figure.
All we can do is trust that the Lord will keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. In reality, that is all we can really ask for, anything else is just frosting on the cake. So far we have been blessed and have been able to make both ends meet. That is a blessing in itself.
I have set a goal to drop a pant size this year. I guess that means that I need to cut back on the junk food that I like so much. I was supposed to set a "fun" goal as well, I can't think of anything. How pathetic is that? I will have to work on the other one for now, until something fun comes to mind that I decide that I want to do.