Understanding

I came to an understanding of some of what is going on in my life right now this morning in the temple. To explain I have to go back several weeks when I started attending the temple in the morning before work to do initiatory. My first time as I was participating, I felt a great burden upon my shoulders, or maybe a better description would be, it was placed upon my soul. Whether this was a new burden, an old one that the Lord was just now allowing me to feel, or a combination of the two I know not. All I know is that from the time I first started doing initiatory work that morning I could feel a heavy burden that is grievous to be born. As I left the temple that day, I could feel the weight of what had been placed upon my shoulders, I felt as if the weight of it would crush me. As I went about my day the thought of it did not leave me, however, later that morning as I pondered upon what I was feeling I had a perception. In my minds eye, I perceived two heavenly beings who came and stood beside me. One on my right, one on my left, each took an arm picking me up as if I were an injured athlete who needed assistance off of the playing field. I now could not feel the burden that I previously felt, although I was aware that it was still there. These two warriors, for lack of a better way to describe them, were now supporting me, as I supported the burden that had been placed upon me. I have pondered upon this everyday since I first had the experience, perceiving each day that the burden was still there, and that my heavenly help was still helping me to bear it up.
Now for today's experience. As I was participating in initiatory again this morning, this experience came to mind along with the realization that I have thought about it daily since it happened. I am aware that this particular burden has been with me day and night since I first became aware of it. Again I say, I do not know if it is new, old, or a combination of the two. It is perhaps something that has been there for many years that the Lord allowed me to perceive so that I would become aware of it. I do not know for sure.What I do know, and what really hit home in an understanding this morning is this: Along with the perception of this burden I have also been able to perceive my heavenly help as well. These two angles, warriors, or whatever they are have been there day and night helping me to bear up the burden that has been placed upon me. I cannot describe the feelings that I felt as I left the temple this morning with the understanding of Christ's love, and His willingness to help us bear whatever we are called upon to go through in this life. The realization that I have been aware of this for 5 or 6 weeks, everyday, left me feeling emotionally overwhelmed.
Since Barbie and I have started going to the temple more often, and especially since I started going once a week in the mornings, I have been blessed, Barbie has been blessed, my family has been blessed in so many ways that I am sure that I am not even aware of all of the blessings. My experience this morning is just one example, one that took several weeks before I became aware of it, so that I would be able to understand it.
Whatever is in store in the future, I know that I will be up to the task, because I know that the Lord will send help. I think that the help has always been there, I am not sure if there are really angles on my right and left every moment of every day helping me to bear an unseen burden, or if this is simply how my mind portrayed the help so that I can understand it. This is what I do know, the help is there, the Lord will help us bear up any burden that we may have. Alma talks about how the Lord helped his people bear the literal burdens placed upon his people when they were in captivity. This same help is available to us all for any burden we may have. If it is a trial, a calling, a work related stress, whatever it is, there is help available to us to help us bear it up.
As I left the temple this morning I felt that I could not do another thing until I had written this experience down. I know that it was a very important thing for me to understand, and that it is something that I should always remember. I felt I should share it on my blog for some reason instead of writing it in my journal . Hopefully someone else can benefit from my experience as well. I just want to end by saying that I know my Savior Jesus Christ lives, he loves each one of us, and he will always be there to help us no matter what the circumstance may be. I leave this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.